


Void and Promise

by ReadyJoan



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Biting, Bloodplay, Blow Jobs, Declarations Of Love, Frottage, Hand Jobs, M/M, Marking, Romance, Therapy, True Love, but also kind of a coda for 3x13, doctor patient confidentiality, safe words kind of, takes place in shiizakana
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 12:40:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4746800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReadyJoan/pseuds/ReadyJoan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will's reaction to his dream of killing Hannibal is more than he can handle.  He finds a way to tell Hannibal his feelings without really telling him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Void and Promise

“No one can be fully aware of another human being unless we love them. By that love, we see potential in our beloved. Through that love, we allow our beloved to see their potential. Expressing that love, our beloveds potential comes true.”

Will felt the blood splash on his face when the rope tightened...

When he woke up, he was hard. He laid there until it went away.

 

They were sitting across from each other in Hannibal’s office. Will tried to stop stealing glances at the couch.

“Do you need to lie down, Will?” 

Will looked up sharply. “What?”

“You seem tired. Were you having more nightmares?”

“I dreamed of killing you again, so not exactly.” Will tried to be cocky about it but it fell flat.

Hannibal gave a small smile. “How did it make you feel then?”

For a moment, Will felt like Hannibal could smell the arousal on him, even now. It was hard to remember sometimes that Hannibal was even human. “I felt...” He trailed off.

“Was it sexual?”

Will closed his eyes. “Don’t go Freudian on me, Dr. Lecter.”

“Psychoanalysis is a dead religion, Will. I wouldn’t presume to tell you that it means you don’t want to kill me. Nevertheless, there is a sexual aspect to your dreams and fantasies of killing me.”

Will tried his best to detach himself from the conversation. “When I see myself killing you, you’re never scared or upset. You- you like it.”

Hannibal spread his hands in his lap. “Perhaps it’s simply a way to justify to yourself that killing me would be the best thing for me.”

He shook his head. “I like that you enjoy it.”

“Is that what makes you aroused? That I’m enjoying the pain you inflict?”

“I don’t know exactly. I like that you’re looking at me while I do it. That you want me to do it.” Will looked at Hannibal finally. His face betrayed nothing.

“If I want you to do it in the dream, there is no revenge is there? So, why do you continue killing me with your hands?”

Will sighed. “I used to want to feel contempt for you. I used to want to make you suffer. I guess that aspect of it isn’t important anymore.”

“The important aspect is just to get your hands on me. Is that it, Will?” Hannibal shifted in his chair ever so slightly. 

“Don’t, it’s not like that.” 

“What is it like then?” His tone had become lilting and light.

“I have to tell you something,” Will whispered. “I have to but I can’t.” 

Hannibal waited silently. 

“Can you please. Is there a way I can tell you like it never happened. We can act like it never happened.” Will was still whispering but his hands were almost clawing at the arms of his chair. 

“Doctor patient confidentiality, even from ourselves? But what if there came a time when we wanted to talk about it again? You aren’t whispering into a void, Will, even if you see me that way sometimes.”

Will managed to still himself. “Say the word and then...”

“A void can promise?” Hannibal put both of his feet on the floor and leaned over his knees. 

“Void,” Will said, and leaned in toward Hannibal.

“Promise,” Hannibal responded. It was the word and his promise in one. 

Will stood up. Hannibal followed him with his eyes but he didn’t move. Will took his jacket off and started unbuttoning his shirt as he walked over to the couch. Hannibal followed and stood over him as Will laid down. He didn’t keep removing clothing. He reached out to Hannibal. 

“Please, do the same. For me.”

Hannibal hesitated. Then he took his coat off, loosened his tie, and unbuttoned his dress shirt. Will pressed Hannibal’s hand to his upper stomach. He petted a little up towards his ribs and Will started shaking. Will cupped the back of Hannibal’s head. 

“I love you,” Will said, his voice strangled and rough. They looked into each other’s eyes, searching but Hannibal’s hand continued to stroke lightly up and down Will’s stomach. 

Hannibal licked his lips. “Is it that terrible to admit?”

Will tightened his fingers in Hannibal’s hair. “It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done.”

“It isn’t something you’ve done yet.” Hannibal’s tone was reasonable but his face was open and his hand went a little lower.

Will gasped. “It is. I’m in love with you. And -” he choked. He was crying. Hannibal lifted his other hand to Will’s face to catch the tears on the side of his face. 

“Something worse than that?” Hannibal brought the wetness to his lips.

It was like an out of body experience. He was trying to stop himself from shaking loose from his body altogether. But this wasn’t really happening so he continued. “I know that I’ve never loved anyone. I know what it means now, to love another person. You’re the only person I’ve ever truly loved in my entire godforsaken life.” He sobbed but he stifled it with the back of his hand. “I don’t think I can live with myself, knowing that.”

“You care for others.” 

“I care about them. I don’t love them. I only love you. I’ve only ever loved you.” Will snaked his hand into Hannibal’s shirt and grasped at his side. 

“I made you understand what it is to love.” Hannibal said it as if it was a statement of fact. Will nodded anyway. “And in doing that I made you realize it’s something you’ve never felt before? Not even for your family?” Will nodded again, miserable.

“I’m a monster,” Will whispered. “I’m just like you.”

“I loved my sister, Will. I was fortunate in that. You simply didn’t have anyone in your life who was worthy of your love. Until now. That isn’t your fault.” He leaned down carefully and brushed his lips against Will’s. Will shook harder but he didn’t move away. Finally, he wrapped his arm around Hannibal’s back and pulled him in by the back of his head until their kiss was deep and terrifying.

Will pulled away, breathing fast, almost hyperventilating. “I know what you are. Is that why I love you? It is only that? Is it because I hate myself and you’re slowly destroying me?”

Hannibal ran his fingers through his hair, calming him. But then he removed his shirt and started helping Will remove his. He joined him on the couch, laying on top of him. The skin to skin contact helped calm Will more. Hannibal kissed the side of Will’s face down to his neck. “It’s because I love you. You’ve known it for a long time. You denied it just like you denied your suspicions about me until it was too late. But, it’s not too late for this.”

They kissed for a long time. They ground into each other. They listened to the sounds from each other they’d never heard before like a symphony. 

“You knew I understood you completely. That’s why my love for you was true. You’ve never experienced this before from anyone else and it enchanted you until you could not escape it.”

Hannibal reached down to undo Will’s pants. He reached his hand in and grasped Will, swallowing his moan. “You trapped me in more ways than one. But, I don’t want to escape you anymore. I just want you. I can’t see anything else anymore. There’s nothing else.” 

Hannibal stroked him slowly. “The void is your definition of love?”

Will hummed in agreement and thrust up into Hannibal’s hand. He cried out like he was in pain and he saw the flash of lust in Hannibal’s eyes. “What’s your definition?”

Hannibal moved with purpose to lower Will’s pants more and draw him out. He got on his knees beside the couch and swallowed Will down and Will had his answer. 

“To consume, is that it.” This time Hannibal hummed his agreement and it sent sparks of pleasure all over his body. Will stroked Hannibal’s back and tried not to think of what else that mouth had consumed. 

“I want - Hannibal. I want to touch you too.” Will pulled at his hair until he stopped. 

Hannibal stood and took himself out and covered Will’s body with his own again. Will reached down and took Hannibal in his hand and grunted like he’d been burned. He’d never done it before to anyone but himself. It was hot and heavy and slick with fluid. He stroked like he would himself and he heard Hannibal sigh into it. He looked up and saw Hannibal studying his face with fascination. He was used to that look but this was more naked than any time he’d ever seen it before. Like he was vulnerable. He was thrusting down but his eyes never left Will’s face. He came quickly. 

“Let me take you in my mouth again,” Hannibal muttered as he kissed him. Will nodded and Hannibal was on his knees again. He pulled Will up until he was sitting and then he took him in again. His thumbs dug into his hip bones hard as he licked and then scraped his teeth very carefully up the length of him. Will tried hard not to think of his teeth and what they’d bitten down on but once he started it was hard to stop. Will pulled him up again so he could kiss him. 

“Bite me please, somewhere. Leave a mark.” 

Hannibal squeezed Will’s bicep and his eyes swept over his body, thinking, choosing. He lowered his head to the place he first touched him, under the ribs and he licked. He sucked. Then he bit down hard until there was blood. Until there would be a scar. Hannibal quickly kissed Will again so that he could taste the blood too. He went back to his work and Will came with a shout. Hannibal swallowed it and allowed him to taste the remains on his tongue. 

Will was clinging onto Hannibal’s shoulders. He couldn’t think of when this moment would end. When they would pretend it didn’t happen. He knew Hannibal would pretend. He promised. But he didn’t know if he could. “I love you, Hannibal.” Will said again, digging his fingers into Hannibal’s flesh. He didn’t know if he would ever be able to say it again. At least he would have a reminder on his skin.

Hannibal stroked Will’s hair to steady him. He looked into Will’s eyes and then he rubbed his fingers over his bite. “I love you, Will.” There were tears in his eyes. Will almost couldn’t let himself believe it. But he did. He trusted him to keep his promise. He believed that he truly did love him. He didn’t know if he’d be able to put himself together again with this knowledge weighing on him. 

They kissed one last time, softly and slowly. Hannibal stood and gathered his things. He left him in his office without another word.

3 years later

Will was immersed in Hannibal’s embrace like he hadn’t been for years. They only had that one brief time together. They had never said the words to each other. Not even in their darkest moments. He was resting in Hannibal but he was still aware of the cliff behind him. Hannibal had made a point of mentioning it before they went into the house. Nothing Hannibal ever said was superfluous. He chose his words carefully. With an agenda. He had pointed him to the void. To himself. It was up to Will to choose it. If he chose it he wouldn’t have to say it. 

When he tipped them over, just before the wind was whipping in their face he heard Hannibal say it. “Promise,” he whispered, right into his ear. It scared him more than the fall.


End file.
